Talking to Toddlers in the Terrible Twos is about creating an emotional bridge to that child. A child will listen to a parent with whom this bonding exists. The child wants approval from such a parent thus reducing the need to discipline. This helps retain an authority figure in the parent child relationship.
Talking To Toddlers:The Terrible Twos
Unusual Tips to Effective Parenting
- The only real reason your kids are not already well behaved.
- The way most parents talk to toddlers, causing them to do exactly what you don’t want.
- The crucial emotional bridge you MUST establish with your child before you try to change their behavior.
- The one word you are probably abusing, which triggers those awful temper tantrums.
4 Facts You MUST Understand
#1. Behavior is driven by Emotion, NOT Logic.
This is fundamental to everything, including understanding toddler behavior. Behavior, for any person of any age, is determined by their emotional state. Hence, people ACT from their emotions, and they later JUSTIFY their actions with logic. But small kids don’t have the ability to use logic, so they act purely from emotion. Keep this in mind when dealing with behavior in toddlers.
#2. We tend to overuse the word “No” when we talk to our kids.
This causes problems with toddler behavior. You remember the story of the boy who cried wolf, right? The little shepherd boy was bored while watching the sheep so he decided to cry wolf and make the villagers come running. Before long, they stopped responding to his false cries. When a parent cries “No” at every little thing, kids stop listening. The parent’s cries fade into the background. Behavior problems in children can stem from this caveat. I’ll teach you multiple ways to get what you want without screaming “NO” at your child – and it simply works better!
LIVES ARE CHANGED!
Learn how you’re making your child do the opposite of what you ask.
Understand this crucial step to getting your child to behave.
The problems in Talking to Toddlers: The Terrible Twos often start around 18 months. And some children have issues beyond the 3rd birthday. However, the principles are the same whatever the age of your child. Consider this – there is only one person you can reliably change and that’s you. But when you make small changes in what you do, the ripple effect can be huge. And you will see changes in those around you. So, first and foremost, if you want your child to change what they do. Ask yourself ‘is there something I could change about the way I’m handling this’? When the parent changes what they do or how they react, it can have very positive results for everyone.
BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR MESSAGE
You are dealing with a child that is experiencing everything around him for the first time. However, he doesn’t have common sense and he can’t reason. His world is expanding dramatically. These discoveries of touch, shape, color, taste are EXCITING! Your child is exhibiting normal toddler behavior. He doesn’t have a malicious streak. Therefore he’s just doing what children do, touching, tasting, seeing, experiencing exponentially! Children live in a short time frame. So any management of toddler behavior needs to be immediate. Don’t threaten punishment when Dad gets home. So your child needs to get clear messages from you and you need to be consistent. Kids get confused with mixed messages. Therefore make sure your body language doesn’t give a different message than what you’re saying. A toddler’s behavior, make it clear that it is the behavior, not the child, that is unacceptable. No child likes always being told he is bad or naughty. In so doing he will determine that bad is acceptable behavior and then your child will act out the script you give him. Always encourage your child in well doing.
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